Cunt Cake for my Birthday

I’m kinda sweary. That’s an understatement. I swear so much that my friends post any meme with curse words to my Facebook wall because they know it will amuse me. They bought me a cake for my birthday with the word, “Cunt” written across it… and I laughed.

But you’re not supposed to swear if you have kids.

I’ve always sprinkled creative profanity everywhere. I didn’t use the “c” word when my kids were little and I still won’t call most people that because I know they’ll take offense.

Did you read that? It was a fucking disclaimer. Why? Because I already know some of you are judging me. Read the title again.

They’re Just Words

It’s kind of like making a grammatical mistake. People jump on your use of profanity and paint it as an indication that you’re an idiot. Or better yet, they think you’re low class.

I love that – when you’re having a discussion and toss in a curse word and the other person acts like that one, little word nullifies every other thought you shared. By the way, if you’ve ever done that to someone, fuck you.

I haven’t found the whole, “they swear so they’re stupid” thing to be true. Admittedly, I’m biased. But my experience tells me the opposite. I’ve met a lot of people with extensive vocabularies and the emotional range of a turnip.

Your use of speech is a flavor of who you are. It might include your dialect, creativity, and (if you’re not a completely pompous fuckwit) it will be understandable to the person you’re talking to.

Profanity cuts out the red tape… it’s the language everyone understands. Some of us just use it more expertly than others.

Profane Parenting | First Impressions and Other Foibles

So we already know I’m sweary. I also lapse into Cicero-ese fairly often. For those of you not from the Chicago area, the Cicero accent usually gets mistaken for Brooklyn. I’ve never been to Brooklyn but I like them already.

As a general rule, I temper the swearing and accent when I’m around “normal” people.  Otherwise you get that blank stare and people start holding on to their wallets.

As a parent, I’ve always been conscious of the way I talk around other people’s children. I still swear like a truck driver’s wet dream around my own.

And yes, well meaning parents have given me lectures about how bad that is. Okay, I don’t think they’re well meaning. I think they’re assholes. I also don’t agree with them. So they’re wasting their self-righteous time trying to convince me.

They’re words. I’ve tried to teach my kids that there’s a time and a place. They’ll make mistakes and learn from them. They swear. I don’t even care that they swear.

Guess what – most of your kids swear, too. If you act like it’s the worst thing ever, they just won’t do it around you. So you’ve basically made them too uncomfortable to be themselves in your presence. That’s an awesome parenting technique for you.

How are you digging on that self-righteous judgment? Not so fun now, huh?

Save Your Judgment for Someone Who Gives a Fuck

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